We Are Not Family

How often have you heard leaders or co-workers refer to work culture as ‘family’?

I’ve heard it throughout my career, especially in the nonprofit world.

Years ago, while attending a webinar on nonprofit organizational leadership, a fellow participant said, “I wish leaders would stop calling their employees family. We are not family.” I wish I remembered who said it, but her words have stayed with me.

Nonprofit leaders often describe their employees as “family” to promote loyalty and a sense of belonging. However, this metaphor can be misleading and even counterproductive.

Family vs Team

Unlike family, where unconditional support and personal obligation are expected, the workplace operates on professional responsibilities, clear boundaries, and mutual respect.

My fellow participant was right. We are not family at work.

Our so-called “work family” is a team. As employees, we are part of a team of individuals with defined roles collaborating toward a shared purpose and goals. I would not describe my family this way. Would you?

Most families have multiple purposes and various goals among members. At times, these agendas sync up, but often they do not. Family implies unconditional bonds and emotional ties.

Conversely, in an organization, the team, ideally, works together toward a shared purpose, or they stop being a team and performance falters. Teamwork focuses on clear communication and strategic collaboration.

Emphasizing team dynamics rather than familial ties encourages professionalism and respects employees’ needs for work-life balance.

Recognizing this distinction fosters a healthier work environment, where accountability and performance are prioritized without the emotional complications that come with the notion of “family.”

Role of the Leader

If you lead an organization as a team, it also positions you as the coach. If your team is underperforming, it’s your job to increase your team’s training and team building. Sometimes you may have to make the harder decision to bench or even cut a member if they consistently underperform and drag the team down.

Purpose of a Team

Some may say that teams are about winning; however, winning is not the purpose of a team. The true purpose of a team lies in collaboration, growth, and mutual support.

Teams provide a structure where diverse skills and perspectives come together to solve problems and achieve common goals. Through this process, individuals develop personally and professionally, build trust, and create a foundation for sustainable success.

Winning is a byproduct of effective teamwork, but the core value is the collective journey and learning what strengthens both the individuals and the team.

Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose, but winning consistently depends on successful teamwork—consistently aligning individual strengths, fostering accountability, and maintaining a professional commitment to the task.

Unlike family, where emotions often complicate decision-making, effective teams prioritize performance and adaptability. Emphasizing teamwork over familial bonds enables leaders and organizations to navigate change, overcome challenges, and achieve sustained success.